So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Off-Topic Discussions. Read the Sticky before posting.

Moderators: Kevio, ElfDude, JesseM, RockCrue, soundchick, ChrisH, peb, Mike Jones, Bundy

User avatar
voodoo_Jef
Gold Member
Gold Member
Posts: 157
Joined: Apr 2016
Location: Texas!

re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby voodoo_Jef » Sat Apr 09, 2016 6:58 am

without the whole backstory (which is equally hilarious), many years ago I was at a public recreational lake (outdoors place) and a little cutie was flirting a bit. Some other guy apparently had a problem with it and got a little froggy with me. After tolerating it for about half an hour I finally warned him that he was really barking up the wrong tree and needed to go away before it came to fisticuffs. Then, out there in front of everyone, under the blistering hot texas sun in July, he looks at me and says "you wanna take this outside?"

I just said "man, we`re about as outside as it gets" and turned away. The ensuing uproar of laughter was pretty much the end of it.
Mega thanks to:
DR Strings
Hipshot Products
Wathen Audiophile Cryotone Tubes
Hughes & Kettner/Yorkville sound

"we are not born with a life full of meaning. It is up to us to give meaning to our lives" - Me.

www.voodoodownmusic.com

User avatar
Albert C
Kiesel Guitars Head Guitar Tech
Kiesel Guitars Head Guitar Tech
Posts: 36
Joined: Feb 2007

re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby Albert C » Wed Aug 03, 2016 11:12 am

Customer: [I] I can't open my guitar case. Why did you guys lock it and not send me the key??
Kiesel rep: [I]Sir, slide the two circular locks outwards...

The next thing the Kiesel rep hears is, "click-click"...case opens and customer hangs up!

True story on many occasions! Fun stuff!

User avatar
spudmunkey
Elite Carvinite
Elite Carvinite
Posts: 14480
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: San Francisco Bay Area

Re: re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby spudmunkey » Wed Aug 03, 2016 12:12 pm

Albert C wrote:Customer: [I] I can't open my guitar case. Why did you guys lock it and not send me the key??
Kiesel rep: [I]Sir, slide the two circular locks outwards...

The next thing the Kiesel rep hears is, "click-click"...case opens and customer hangs up!

True story on many occasions! Fun stuff!


There have been several threads about that over the years...as well as a couple amusing unboxing videos. :)

User avatar
2Plus2isChicken
Gold Carvinite
Gold Carvinite
Posts: 1848
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: Nashville, TN

re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby 2Plus2isChicken » Wed Aug 03, 2016 12:22 pm

Those latches confused me at first, and I still don't like them. I don't want a case that locks.
Guitars:
2x Carvin Bolt
DC145
AE185
Ibanez RG1570 and Mikro
2x Fender MIM Strat
Ovation Celebrity

Amps:
V3M
Legacy 3
VT16
Quilter 101 Mini Head
Carvin Vintage 1 x 12 cab
Carvin Legacy II 2 x 12 cab

Cynical
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Posts: 363
Joined: Dec 2015

Re: re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby Cynical » Wed Aug 03, 2016 12:26 pm

spudmunkey wrote:There have been several threads about that over the years...

Guilty as charged :oops:

(In ten years of playing guitar, I've never seen another case that opens that way.)

Dumbest question I've ever been asked is one that I was, sadly, asked quite a few times -- when I was a teenager and working at Space Center Houston as a tour guide over the summer, guests would constantly ask "how long is the 15/30/45 minute tour?"

The worst part is, we were actually banned from answering "15 (or however many) minutes", because "it might make the guest feel stupid". Instead, we had to answer in fractions of an hour :wall: :wall: :wall:

User avatar
spudmunkey
Elite Carvinite
Elite Carvinite
Posts: 14480
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: San Francisco Bay Area

re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby spudmunkey » Wed Aug 03, 2016 12:41 pm

Could they have been asking about distance? Like...in the 15 minute tour, it's about 1/4 mile of walking. The 30 minute tour is about 1/2 mile, etc. Kinda like Star wars using "parsec" to seemingly incorrectly mean a measure of time, but could have meant that the ship was so fast/capable that it could perform this point-to-point trip in a shorter distance by using dangerous shortcuts. :-p

Actually I don't believe either of those were likely the actual case, just playing my favorite game, "over-rational devil's advocate. " :lol:

Cynical
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Posts: 363
Joined: Dec 2015

re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby Cynical » Wed Aug 03, 2016 12:44 pm

Given that most of the actual "travelling' on the tour happens riding on trams, the loading for which is very visible from where the guests were asking this question, I hardly see why walking distance would be a relevant concern.

User avatar
voodoo_Jef
Gold Member
Gold Member
Posts: 157
Joined: Apr 2016
Location: Texas!

re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby voodoo_Jef » Thu Aug 04, 2016 8:33 am

sorry guys, must`ve had my original post stored as a cookie or something and it double posted. Weird.
Last edited by voodoo_Jef on Fri Aug 05, 2016 8:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
Mega thanks to:

DR Strings

Hipshot Products

Wathen Audiophile Cryotone Tubes

Hughes & Kettner/Yorkville sound



"we are not born with a life full of meaning. It is up to us to give meaning to our lives" - Me.



www.voodoodownmusic.com

User avatar
Tabare777
Carvinite
Carvinite
Posts: 986
Joined: Jan 2012
Location: Building S4, Groom Lake Facility
Links/Contact:

re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby Tabare777 » Thu Aug 04, 2016 5:02 pm

That's a crack up man,
I'm always asked "why 8 strings?" as well, and if they're a 6 string player usually it's followed by
"Geez, I have enough trouble navigating 6"
If it's genuine, I tell them it's the same as sax player bari, tenor, alto and soprano, only I get tenor and alto on the same instrument 😉
Image
Tabare777 WEBSITE
Kiesel VM8 & Carvin DC800
DV Mark Little 40II & Mesa Dual Recto 2x12 Cab

User avatar
DesmoBob
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Posts: 373
Joined: Mar 2008
Location: Hawaii

re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby DesmoBob » Thu Aug 04, 2016 5:54 pm

The question here was rhetorical, but the answer was the kicker. BTW, this wasn't me. This happened to one of our former grad students, riding with his previous boss, who was driving.

Trooper: You DO know this is a one-way road, don't you? :naughty:
Driver: Uhh... yeah??? I was going only one way! :roll:
Trooper: :x :evil:

User avatar
ultraVpilot
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Posts: 293
Joined: Oct 2009
Location: Albuquerque, NM

re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby ultraVpilot » Sun Aug 14, 2016 11:27 am

Walked into a cafe right after work (I'm a helicopter pilot) still had my flight suit on. Something about "flight" embroidered on the front and back, bright gold wings on my name tag, you can see this, right?

Girl behind the counter says, "Are you a race car driver?"

User avatar
UnexplodedCow
Carvinite
Carvinite
Posts: 806
Joined: Oct 2010
Location: Columbus, OH

re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby UnexplodedCow » Thu Sep 08, 2016 7:13 am

Not so much a dumb question (it's in there) as more of a sad story.

I used to work in a helpdesk remotely helping people in a financial institution. They were not very computer savvy, and barely knew how to turn them on (most just unplugged them at night to turn them off).

Guy: Hey, I have a problem with my computer!
Me: OK.
Guy: Can you fix it?
Me: Possibly. What's the problem?
Guy: It won't turn on!
Me: Have you tried pressing the power button?
Guy: What?! Do you think I'm an idiot?! I pressed the button on the screen and the computer didn't turn on! I want you to fix it!
Me: Uh, sir, that's the monitor. Try pushing the button on the box beside the monitor.
Guy: That didn't work either.
Me: OK, can you confirm if it's plugged in?
Guy: Of course it's plugged in, do you think I'm stupid?
Me: No, sir. But was housekeeping around last night? They may have bumped something.
Guy: Yes, they were around last night.
Me: Please check if the computer is plugged in.
Guy: But it's dark back there!
Me: Sir, you can turn on a light.
Guy: No, I can't. The power's out!
Me: Sir, you need to contact your power company.
Guy: Well, what are all these gigawhatzits for in my computer? Don't they generate power?
Me: Sir, a gigahertz is a generalized measurement of....
Guy: Don't try to use your techno-jargon on me! I'm not stupid. I want you to fix my computer!
Me: Sir, call your power company.
Guy: Well, cant' you push a button?
Me: Sir, there is no magical button, or combination thereof that allows me to control the power grid. Your power company has that ability. Please call them.
Guy: No a;slkdfj;aslkdjfoijwe;lkasdf help at all. Thanks for nothing, as**ole!

The dumb question was in reference to CPU processing speed, but the conversation is quite memorable to me.
We are entitled to our own, wrong, opinions.

Guitar theorem: G=X+1 where G= guitars one needs, and X = guitars one has.

Do or do not; there is no understand.

User avatar
DesmoBob
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Posts: 373
Joined: Mar 2008
Location: Hawaii

Re: re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby DesmoBob » Thu Sep 08, 2016 11:19 am

UnexplodedCow wrote:Guy: No, I can't. The power's out!

:laughhard:

User avatar
2Plus2isChicken
Gold Carvinite
Gold Carvinite
Posts: 1848
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: Nashville, TN

re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby 2Plus2isChicken » Thu Sep 08, 2016 12:09 pm

I can't believe that computer conversation actually happened. :laughhard:
Guitars:
2x Carvin Bolt
DC145
AE185
Ibanez RG1570 and Mikro
2x Fender MIM Strat
Ovation Celebrity

Amps:
V3M
Legacy 3
VT16
Quilter 101 Mini Head
Carvin Vintage 1 x 12 cab
Carvin Legacy II 2 x 12 cab

Dometalican
Carvinite
Carvinite
Posts: 809
Joined: Sep 2012
Location: Orlando, FL

re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby Dometalican » Fri Sep 09, 2016 4:13 am

Working at a help desk currently, I get a ton of ridiculous questions. Even worse is that I even get people that are like, "invalid username or password!? I KNOW my password so why is it not working!?"

-___-;

It's even worse when they spit out: "I have a masters degree in this and a Ph.D in this so I KNOW what I'm talking about".

My response: "That's nice sir. Go ahead and click on 'forgot password' for me please..."
Rig goals:
1 A6C
2 AC375 (or AC475; 7-string preferred)
3 Carvin V3412
4 X64
5 Carvin BX1600
6 DC700C (27" scale)
7 Extended scale or Multiscale 6-string Bass
8 AM8/KVM8
9 K6CX/SCB6CX/DC6CX (26.5"/27" scale)
For fun:
10. CT73C
11. V59K/LB75

Pickup Post that may help you!

User avatar
UnexplodedCow
Carvinite
Carvinite
Posts: 806
Joined: Oct 2010
Location: Columbus, OH

re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby UnexplodedCow » Fri Sep 09, 2016 4:52 am

I think the helpdesk ones will probably be pretty dumb.

I spent 3 years doing that sort of thing, and had extremely stupid ones every day. My final call as a helpdesk tech was done completely in the voice/linguistic style of yoda. I may still be able to find the recording of it.

A few more came to mind from that time:

"Where's the any key?" In reference to a script asking them to press any key.

I once had another (new) tech ask me where the "any key was. I suggested they never ask anyone that again.

"I use xxx software, but am not seeing it on the supported software list. Is it supported?" No.

"I know my computer's broken, but do I have to buy another one?" NO, we'll travel back in time to when they were made, have one crafted out of solid bronze, and bring it back, just so you can continue to complain how slow it is, and how horrid it makes your life.

"Do you know what you're doing? The other guy has an MCSE, and I don't see that in your list of certs?" The other guy is a liar and has no clue what he is doing, which should be painfully obvious when you had to call back in to have me fix what he "fixed."

"Can you tell me my password?" Yup. It's nothing but asterisks.

"Why did I call you?" Probably to chat and receive validation for your life choices.

"Why did you call me?" I didn't. You went through a robotic teller system to get to me, and have the memory of an amnesiac.

"Can you hold?" For 5 minutes, I have 50 other calls waiting for me. I get the caller again asking why I hung up, at which point I read that I had waited beyond 5 minutes (usually around 7:32) and then left. Indignant responses ensue.

"I bought the 4 year warranty for my computer, but it's 7 years old. Is it under warranty?" *snickering*

"I called in for X problem, but while you're on the phone, can you help me close this trade?" No.

"I know this isn't supported, but can you fix it?" No. We don't fix unsupported software issues. You bought that software under the guise of it being the best thing since sliced pickles, and now get to eat that sandwich (with those wonderfully defective sliced pickles).

I tell someone my name. "Hey, Cow, how are you doing?! What's your name? You never told me." - This happened probably every other call.

"Am I going to be charged for this call?" Probably.

"I just told you off, what are you going to do about it, wise ass? Don't give me the silent treatment." Hand him over to my boss while I fill out an abusive caller report.

Me: "Welcome to the failed technology service desk."
Person: "Hey, is this Dominoes? I'd like your 3 medium pepperoni special."
Me: "This is not Dominoes. This is the helpdesk for X company."
Person: "Oh. Do you think you can connect me to Dominoes, and put the order in for me?"
Me: "How about you call Dominoes? If you hurry, they might throw in a free 2 Liter."
Person: "Oh! Great idea! Do you know their number?"
Me: "304-xxx-xxx" as I was in WV at the time.
Person: "That's an out of state number."
Me: "I'm in WV."
Person: "Well, why am I calling WV? That's long distance!"
Me: "Probably because you thought it was Dominoes."
Person: "F*** you! Connect me to Dominoes."
Me: "Goodbye, and thanks for calling."

"Hey, how do I get out of this place?" said a person standing under the Exit sign.

Me shopping in a store, picking up some paper towels (in the paper aisle). A person approaches me with "Hey, you work here, do you know where I can find the toilet paper?"

I just stare at them. They get a little upset, and state they're going to report me. I just say "This isn't my job. You walk into the paper aisle, and expect me to just drop what I'm doing and take you to the toilet paper? It's at the other end of the aisle. Now you're going to report me? F-ing go for it, dumba**." The person *actually* walked around, and found a floor manager in this place, and brought them back to where I was, reporting that I was rude to them, and called them "foul names." I replied with "I called them a dumba**."

The manager looked at the person, looked at me, and looked back at the person, and calmly said "Ma'am, I can't do anything to him. He did nothing wrong." The woman flies into a rage, screaming obscenities, and asking how a store can employ such a person as me. The manager flatly tells her (finally) that I'm not a store employee. She looks at him and asks if he's telling the truth. I walk over and ask "Do you see a colored vest on me? I'm just another customer lady." She starts crying about how she's never been so embarrassed, drops all her stuff and leaves the store.

On a similar note, I was shopping, and had a store employee come up to me with a bottle of something.
Employee: "Hey, man, do you know where this goes?"
Me: "Is this some store sweepstakes?"
Employee: "No, I just don't know where it goes."
Me: "How about ask someone who works here?"
Employee: "Well, I thought you'd know."
Me: "How about you let me shop in peace?"
Employee: "Do you know where it goes?"
Me: "Where's your manager?"
Employee: "It's my first day!"
Me: "I don't care."
Employee walks off.
Another person comes up to me.
Employee 2: "Hey, man, why do you have to be such an as**ole to people? He was just asking for help."
Me: "Hmm. I want to speak to a manager. Now."
Employee 2: "Huh?! What'd I do?"
Me: "Called me an as**ole."
Employee 2: "You could be nice to people."
Me: "And you could learn how to do your job properly."
I walk to find the manager in the other aisle, listening, and have a quick chat with him. He acknowledges the problem, and those two people I never see at the store again.


This should all probably be filed under "strange negotiations," instead of "dumb questions."
Last edited by UnexplodedCow on Fri Sep 09, 2016 11:44 am, edited 1 time in total.
We are entitled to our own, wrong, opinions.

Guitar theorem: G=X+1 where G= guitars one needs, and X = guitars one has.

Do or do not; there is no understand.

Dometalican
Carvinite
Carvinite
Posts: 809
Joined: Sep 2012
Location: Orlando, FL

re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby Dometalican » Fri Sep 09, 2016 8:58 am

I lost it at the screaming lady part. Lol. Dude, that is gold!
Rig goals:
1 A6C
2 AC375 (or AC475; 7-string preferred)
3 Carvin V3412
4 X64
5 Carvin BX1600
6 DC700C (27" scale)
7 Extended scale or Multiscale 6-string Bass
8 AM8/KVM8
9 K6CX/SCB6CX/DC6CX (26.5"/27" scale)
For fun:
10. CT73C
11. V59K/LB75

Pickup Post that may help you!

User avatar
spudmunkey
Elite Carvinite
Elite Carvinite
Posts: 14480
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: San Francisco Bay Area

re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby spudmunkey » Fri Sep 09, 2016 10:27 am

I used to work at a job where I had to were khakis and any solid-colored polo shirt. I would have to be careful where I would shop after work, because I would get stopped by a customer every.single.time I would go into a store with those colors on my shirt. Red = target. Blue = best buy or Lowe's. Green = OSH. Orange = Home Depot. Never failed. I did always try to be helpful, but if I couldn't answer, I'd let them know, and they were always apologetic in their embarassment. :-p

User avatar
potatohead
Platinum Carvinite
Platinum Carvinite
Posts: 3349
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: Vancouver

re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby potatohead » Fri Sep 09, 2016 1:19 pm

I worked at a golf store as a kid and I will never forget one dude came in and asked if we sold trampolines. I don't know why I remember it but at the time it was hilarious.
V3M 212
2012 DC700 (gloss spalt)
2013 CS6 x 2 (satin purple flame, satin green flame)
2013 CS4 (satin black)
2015 CT4 (satin blue ash w/ AAT)

User avatar
spudmunkey
Elite Carvinite
Elite Carvinite
Posts: 14480
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: San Francisco Bay Area

re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby spudmunkey » Fri Sep 09, 2016 1:44 pm

There was a store that I would walk past almost every day on my way into work. I'd usually stop by a couple times a week to joke with the folks, and ask things like, "Do you sell eggs?" "Do you guys carry armpit wax?" "Do you guys sell taxidermied penguins?" "Where do you keep your 1982 phone books for Topeka, KS?"

After the first couple of times, their automatic response was just to silently point behind them to the sign on the wall above their heads.

The store was called "Just Rugs".

:laughhard:


Return to The Backstage Lounge

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests